Hayden Panettiere’s Ordeal After Brother’s Death: ‘I Just Turned Into a Balloon
Hayden Panettiere is back. The actress, whose last on-screen appearance was Scream 6, is preparing to return to theaters with Amber Alert at the end of September. “It’s nice to be back. I waited a while to make sure I was making the right decision on what project I was going to do first. I got an amazing new team that I love, and I was able to recreate what I wanted my career to be,” confessed the actress, who was away from the sets for a long time.
These were not easy months for Panettiere. Last year, her brother Jansen died suddenly due to an undiagnosed enlarged heart. The actor was 28 years old and was the actress’s only brother. He was my only brother, and my job was to protect him. When I lost him, I felt like I lost half of my soul… I will always be heartbroken over him; I will never be able to get over him. No matter how many years pass, I will never get over his loss,” she confessed in an interview with People.
This sudden loss caused him such pain and sadness that it began to be reflected in his own body.“I just turned into a balloon,” the 35-year-old singer revealed that within days she began to swell and became unrecognizable. “It didn’t matter what I did or what I ate. I know that stress and cortisol running through the body can do that. Now I think my body was protecting itself, shielding itself from the world,” he explained, in addition to confessing that he gained almost 18 kilos.
This excess weight not only reflected the anguish that Hayden felt but also brought back an old disorder from the past: agoraphobia. I could barely leave the house. I had to watch horrific paparazzi footage leaving Jansen’s funeral, which took place in a very private location, and it was shocking. didn’t recognize myself. My agoraphobia came to light, something I have struggled with in the past,” he opened up about this anxiety disorder that involves being afraid and avoiding places or situations that could trigger panic and feelings of being trapped, helpless, or ashamed.
Panettiere has spoken about this situation before and how difficult it was to grow up in front of the cameras, especially in 2006 when she played superhero cheerleader Claire Bennet in the hit series Heroes. “Growing up in this industry, you’re scared that you don’t look decent when you walk out the door. That started happening to me at 16, when you’re already at an age where you’re not okay with the changes in your body, and you certainly don’t need grown men commenting on our insecurities,” she recalled.
This feeling increased when she had to return to the sets after becoming a mother. No woman should appear in front of a camera unless she wants to three months after giving birth. I wore girdles, and that increased my depression and affected my opinion of myself. “They say you should talk to yourself like you would talk to your friends, but I was very, very guilty of talking to myself in horrible ways,” revealed the then-cast member of Nashville.
However, meeting celebrity trainer Marnie Alton helped her get out of that depression and anguish. “We would go on long, beautiful walks to let off steam, and we would have a therapy session. She gave me power,” she said about this woman who helped her regain control of her health and her body. “My body started to react not only to the exercise. It allowed me to release the stress, the high expectations I had always placed on myself,” she added, proud of her achievements at that time.
As her insecurities faded, so did her agoraphobia. There’s nothing like looking in the mirror and feeling like you look good enough to walk out the door,” he said.
While she is still learning to live with the pain of losing her brother, the blonde told of the new perspective she gained after Jansen’s death. When something this serious has happened to you, you learn to pick your own fights and not let the little things get to you, because once something this horrible, this profound, this catastrophic happens in your life, there’s not much that can really shake youu,” he warned.
When it comes to fights, Hayden has had her share over the years. The former teen star has battled drug and alcohol addictions that landed her in rehab in early 2020. I was on top of the world, and I blew it,” confessed the woman who began taking “happy pills” at the age of 15 before walking the red carpets. “They were to cheer me up during interviews,” admitted Panettiere, who, over time, began drinking alcohol and occasionally took opioids. “As I got older, drugs and alcohol became something I almost couldn’t live without,” she admitted.
Her addictions were compounded by postpartum depression after having her daughter Kaya and an abusive relationship with an ex-boyfriend. “I tried really hard and had to be willing to be incredibly honest,” said the woman who, just when she seemed to be recovering, suffered the unexpected death of her soulmate.
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